over the weekend, a friend of mine purchased tickets to go see...

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:36:20 -0400

over the weekend, a friend of mine purchased tickets to go see the gods of bass. Stanley Clark, Marcus Miller and the one and only [one i knew…] Victor Wooten.

It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The music was amazing and yet the entire crowd sat motionless while they watched these 3 men wail on basses with a drummer and keyboardist. I think my jaw may or may not have fallen off

ahh-maze ing

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:14:16 -0400

ahh-maze ing: i really wanted to reblog this. but i feel it’s best not on my page…buyer beware

thickening the proverbial batter

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 20:12:51 -0400

Who’s a mush-pot?!

I am! IIIIII am! Excuse me. She is

That girl over there. Sitting in the corner. Watching. Judging. Writing in her little book, ever so carefully. No one knows she’s there, she’s thinking. Except she’s thinking out loud. And everyone can hear her. Even if they are too blind to see her.

She’s slowly understanding, what little of it means. Too many hands in the batter will flatten the bread. She’s hearing. Too many cooks in the kitchen, burn that shit to the ground.

But the batter is needing some thinkening. And she’s not understanding how to do it alone.

“Bring me the baking soda”

“how’s about that wheat flour”

“Is cornstarch bad for your digestive system?”

STOP…she’s whispering

“Leave me to my own devices,” she’s saying. Hoping they really are listening to her vibrations.

“Please, I need to thinken the batter…won’t you leave my kitchen?”

Drunken Dreams

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:44:12 -0400

I have been having a series of ultra vivid…almost lucid-like dreams. Most notably the past few days. I may have titled this drunken dreams. But I can assure you, I have yet to be drunk this week. Maybe even this month. hmm. I dont think I’ve been drunk this month

In any event, some pieces definitely reflect my thoughts in my waking life. that much I can see. But some, are definitely signifying massive change in my world. It’s one of those “and then just as i was opening pandoras box, and I woke up”

Eat my balls, dream state. Damn you subconscious. I get that I can’t have all the answers. I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But for real people? This is just silly.

Or frustrating. So much so. I felt the need to share.

Now don’t you want to know what I was dreaming about? hmmm

(via vidar) this is how I imagine Jesus to really be. Unless he...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:39:35 -0400

(via vidar) this is how I imagine Jesus to really be. Unless he ends up being Harry Potter…then there is that whole “lightning bolt scar” thing

"it’s a comedy with the tragedy laced in such absurdities, I nearly suffocate in tears of..."

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:40:00 -0400

“it’s a comedy with the tragedy laced in such absurdities, I nearly suffocate in tears of life.”

- [sometimes I find these little gems written on receipts]

i fucking hate this photo embedding

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:18:05 -0400

just had to share

My Little Ant

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:52:00 -0400

Awakening to a new day is often exciting and full of possibilities. Today, I wake, and go back to sleep, and wake, and go back to sleep, and finally, my mother wakes me.

I cannot go back to sleep. So I hurriedly gather myself, and prepare my snacks for the day ahead. I toss on the first thing I see, and just so happen to grab matching underwear in the process. What are the odds?! [answer, very good, apparently] Throw on some light make up, and out the door am I.

In the car, I notice a teeeeeny, tiny, baby ant crawling on my arm. I flick it. Out of habit. But it lands on my black cardigan. And that is just fine with me. My brother-in-law and I head onto the train where we both check our morning emails. 25 minutes into the train ride. I see this on my right side:

If you cannot see…being that one would need a magnifying glass of sorts. This is, in fact, the ant from the car. Don’t see it?

That littttttle spec alllllll the way at the bottom of the photo, closer to the left side than the right side.

Well. One could imagine my surprise. And excitement. Little did this guy know, he was going to go 60 whole miles from home. Without even trying! Rock on! But then fear overcame me. What happens, if he never makes it home. And he wants to go home? He just ends up wandering around this long island railroad train. Or even worse. The dreaded Penn Station!

But maybe that was his destiny. Maybe that is what he wants. Maybe it’s just what he needs. That suburban ant life just ain’t for him. Maybe he needs to be a city-ant. I just don’t know for certain. But I wish him well.

Although, he did bring up my theme of the hour. Which of course, is circles.

Can’t see him again? It’s that little spec. Walking on the window. I’ll have you know. He discovered it was a circle…in 8 minutes. Rock on little guy.

Rock on.

Opening Minds

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:40:54 -0400

It just may be time to open a mind

prying it with your hands or a crowbar, at that. learning the pressure that’s making it pop.

make it pop.

Opening your mind, yourself. at first. Opening the minds of those around you. Next. Or not. Or now. Or then. But starting a new outlook for those within you. Is impertative, to opening your mind.

It’s simple. it’s hard. It’s possible, you know. It’s probable that your mind will return and close, if you, just. dont. open. their minds.

what good is it for you. If you’re left alone. Your own devices on. Your signals off. And your head in your ass.

and i leave you with a quote, via noop

The only way to avoid hitting the colossus of societal failure that looms over the horizon is for the kids to abandon this vain existence and start over.

amazing

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:35:07 -0400

amazing

oh the elusive aunt jenna

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:14:19 -0400

i think it’s safe to say my past is coming back to haunt me…

I’m aware that I was once on a dance team, that defined my life for a very long time. I’m aware I was once in a sorority. One that I ran and altered with pride.

I’m aware that I once was ‘loose in the morals’ and found a new set by way of love. You see, loving someone, when one doesn’t fully know themselves, makes a person love the parts of themself, they never knew existed. And once they become aware of these aspects, surely they will need an adjustment here. or there. But in loving someone else, and there isn’t enough room in a person’s heart to make changes to themself.

but there must be. I must do so. it’s imperative. And in loving lil miss ellie, I’m finding I can discover things about myself, through loving her. And we help each other. And grow together. And we grow apart as well

We both know this. She does not speak in full sentences yet, but she knows. She sees. She’s aware when a good cry will bring everyone around. everyone except for me.

We can hug, and cuddle. and laugh. and giggle. but most of all, we learn. We learn about ourselves and the world around us. We learn about each other, and the details of the universe. We learn about people. And we learn about love

And we learn how to love without always being near. We cannot always be near to one another. But we can always love one another.

And when we are near. We learn how to make the most of our time shared. Age old lessons that may need to be relearned. But, just maybe, this shared knowledge is already on it’s way to becoming wisdom….

rdargnaere

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:37:40 -0400

or. rearranged for those of you who are not of the dyslexia

the disks are slipped. the time has changed. everything around me is rearranged

i feel the same. i know i am. but there is something inside me that has turned around. it’s great. it’s grand. it’s wonderful, indeed. but i just can’t shake this feeling that the hole still gapes. i’m looking for an outlet. something that will help me find. the part of me, inside me. that once was mine

this rhyming is shitty. i fucking hate it all. i hate every last bit. of the natural beats that have formed in the free flowing writing. iambic pentameter my ass.

or maybe not. maybe that is just it. the rhythem [i just cant figure out how this is spelled…for the life of me] stays the same. but the words will change

so i go forth. to change my words. and keep the heart rate, static and moving. because once it stops. i’m gone from here/ and i don’t plan on stopping anytime soon

so yeaaa

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:51:00 -0400

this one is a toughie

in-dec- indeci- indecicive

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:23:30 -0400

Arghh

She’s screaming. Screaming so loudly no one can even hear her. except for the dogs, that is. The dogs can always hear her.

She cannot take it anymore! Why do things turn out they way that they do?! Why must life be sooooooooo hard to live. ohhhhhhh the humanity!

oh the drama! Oh the glorious joy!

The desire for her to snap her fingers. and Boom. Everything is just the way she wants them. Everyone becomes just the people she wills them to be. The people in her life. The way she best sees it.

Oh to snap. And have it all line up.

Maybe if she just closes her eyes. It will all come together. Just maybe.

and the family i spend the most of my time with

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:21:13 -0400

and the family i spend the most of my time with

scenes from the train

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:18:30 -0400

scenes from the train

celebrate yourself

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:15:21 -0400

This weekend we celebrate our independence from Great Britian. A country we still have exorbitant ties to…horrah for us! Way to be independent!

This weekend, the group celebrates the birth of mister Scotty. I refer to Scotty as the youngest member of the clan, even if there are a handful of chiquedees that are his junior…

He has always been the “oh scotty” kinda kiddo. And now he is legitimzing himself…with one last night of sheer debotchery. What will happen? Oh, that I cannot answer. Anything goes when we’re all together. actually, everything goes when we’re all together.

and it’s a sort of exaggerated sigh that I need. It’s exactly what I need. My body has been tense and tightened and needing the kind of release only a day of families can bring out. Both families that I barely see. The ones that I don’t spend every waking moment with. The ones that bring out a positive energetic side of myself.

my hearts

And scotty drums the beat to it all.

So today, while you’re celebrating your own life. And your freedom, and your independence. Celebrate yourself. And everyone around you. Celebrate me, celebrating you. And all that brings you relief. And most importantly, joy.

taking a long time~

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:14:43 -0400

I’m taking a long time to get a lot of things done

If I’m going to live to my 120s. I guess the long time is quite alright. And totally legit. But you know, a girl gets bored. and things need to happen more quickly. and promply and. and. and.

I’m taking more time to do everything that needs to be done. I’m being patient with the rest of the world. and allowing them to grow as well. Alright, not alllllllll the time.

but fuck man. often. Often, indeed.

Blocking the writer

Tue, 20 May 2008 00:40:59 -0400

She speaks of writers block. This is an interesting sentiment. What exactly…she knows.
It’s that place. That time. The one that she’s pondering constantly.
Is this the nature of my writing? Is this what I do?
Surely not. She’s believing those words. Those faithful words. Of sureeeeely not. Surely, not?
Of course not!
And so she exclaims from under her breath. The world is just too much with us, late. And soon.
The whisper is being heard. From afar. A near. A stranger. A glimmer of hope.
Foolishness is weary in a sceario such as this.
Foolishness is weary, indeed. He replies.

By golly. Gee wizz. He’s speaking, indeed.
Indeed? Again. Oy mother, she’s laughing. Oy mother, I fear.
But alas, the mother is near. Coaxing and calming and suring herself away. Sure sure, sure suree.. whatever it is you need to believe. Whatever it is, you need to say. You speak, you laugh. You ponder. And you cry.

But in due time, my love. Your story will unfold. And laugher will commence. And you shall bathe in the bounty. With the lover, and the friend. And he, who shall be brought, upon thee and only thyself.

A little brit for those who may need it. A little love for those who share. And a moon, to you. My dear, dear friends.

that venn diagram needs to start closing.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:49:29 -0400

parts of herself are plucking away. one by one.

slowly and carefully, molting away. But this one, she’s thinking, is quite playful. quite enjoyable. Perhaps, this one, is radiating from her central corridor.

Ah yes. it must be. She’s understanding it all. So clearly, so crisply. The banding of the elipses…gradually slipping themselves snugly, into one. another.

So it is! She’s exclaiming, again. And perishes with a laugh. Fore everyone knows.